The Value Of Trust

“Trust means that you trust someone but you keep them and keep them, but you have to trust them forever.” (Child 5 years old)

What Is the Value of Trust?
What was your first understanding of trust?

It’s a simple word, yet we use it constantly. Sometimes with sincerity, honor, love, gratitude. Other times, it becomes a tool for manipulation.

So the question remains: what is the true value of trust?

I believe trust begins in childhood, shaped by our environment and the morals passed down to us, parents, grandparents, and deeply rooted generational beliefs.

But what happens when those beliefs become outdated? What happens in a society where chaos is normalized, manipulation is subtle, and betrayal is nearly institutional?

Trust requires vulnerability.
It’s faith… faith that someone won’t hurt you, won’t betray you, won’t tarnish your character. In a world obsessed with reputation and status, trust can feel fragile, even transactional.

“Trust is knowing the trash will be taken out.” (Adult 82 years old)

You

When You Are the One Struggling with Trust

If you find yourself unable to trust, that’s not a flaw, it’s a signal. A call for internal work.

Ask yourself:

• Where did this begin?
• Was I taught to distrust?
• Did someone I love break my trust?
• Did I betray my own boundaries to please others?

Start by creating a simple timeline, note the pivotal moments that shifted your belief in trust. Yes, it may be triggering. But understanding your pain points is the beginning of healing. And you might just discover that you’ve always had more control over your life than you ever had over anyone else’s.

Which begs the question:

• Why are you still carrying toxic friendships?
• Why are you still arguing about the trash?
• Why do we hold onto pain instead of choosing peace?
• Did I ignore early warning signs because I wanted connection?

Even the closest people in our lives can and will disappoint us. Choosing to hold onto that pain is choosing to live in a fantasy rooted in the past.

“If I make a food and someone trusts that the food is good and they try it and they like. Then they trust it always. Carrying someone else’s backpack because it’s too heavy. That’s trust!” (Child 7 years old)

Trust and Isolation vs. Codependency

Too often, we respond to broken trust by retreating into isolation or clinging to codependent relationships. Both are rooted in fear. It requires discernment.

Yes, we’ve all been hurt by someone, a parent, a partner, a friend. But continuing to place blame only keeps us sick. It holds us back from the love, growth, and peace we deserve.

Family

“Trust is the belief or faith of something or someone to be as you believe it to be.” (Teenager 15 years old)

Family often wants what they believe is best for us, not necessarily what makes us happy. I learned early that adults make mistakes. They use one another. They perform. They lie. And they cry behind closed doors.

As children, we notice those cracks. We just don’t have the language for them yet. But the damage is real. We internalize the disconnect between what adults say and what they do.

Imagine how different things could be if we modeled honest emotional expression. If a child saw an adult say, “I’m sad today, but I’ll be okay.” That transparency becomes the foundation for trust, not secrecy or performance.

Even if you’re not a parent, someone younger is watching you. Learning how to “swim” by mimicking your strokes. Your actions matter more than your words.

Friendship

“Trust is follow through, basically the same significance as a promise, action.” (Adult 22 years old)

Friendships can be just as deep and meaningful as family, sometimes even more so. But even the most bonded friendships can be broken in a single moment of betrayal.

So we begin to measure people. Keep them at a distance. Wait for them to prove they deserve a seat at our table. But is friendship something that must be constantly earned? Or does it flourish when it’s mutual, honest, and purposeful?

Ask your closest friend:

• Why are we friends?

If the answer is history, convenience, or one-sided venting, maybe it’s time to reassess.
Secrets, negativity, and hidden agendas don’t build trust. They destroy it.

Choose people who feed your soul.
Choose quality over quantity.

“Trust is a knowing belief of connection between individuals.” (Adult 54 years old)

Final Thoughts

Trust is not just a word, it’s a living practice. It evolves. It grows with us. And when it’s broken, we get to choose whether to rebuild or release. It grows slowly, and when broken, it rarely returns in the same form.

You don’t owe your trust to anyone.
But you do owe yourself the peace that comes with knowing when and how to give it.

Manipulation Tactics Below

I refuse to spend my time diving into the endless ways people manipulate others, there are entire channels, podcasts, and websites dedicated to that kind of negativity.

While I don’t condone manipulative behavior, I also won’t dwell in its darkness. That said, I do believe it’s important to be aware of how manipulation can show up, especially when it’s subtle, disguised as care, or wrapped in charm.

Below is a list of common manipulation tactics people use for self-gain, whether for money, sex, security, relationships, or status. This list was written and contorted by Robert Greene, an author who focuses on the behaviors of human beings and the tactics we utilize to survive and gain what we want. We’re all wired differently. Be mindful of that. Life molds people in complex ways.

So instead of harsh judgment, choose self-respect. Instead of reacting, honor your boundaries. And above all, leave space for your life to unfold with clarity, peace, and truth. Understanding trust also means understanding how easily it can be manipulated.

Robert Greene famously outlined many of these tactics in The 48 Laws of Power.
Some of the most relevant to trust include:

• Never Outshine The Master
• Never Put Too Much Trust In Friends, Learn How To Use Enemies
• Always Say Less Than Necessary
• Court Attention At All Cost
• Learn To Keep People Dependent On You
• Use Selective Honesty And Generoisity To Disarm Your Victim
• Pose As A Friend, Work As A Spy
• Use Absence To Increase Respect And Honor
• Stir Up Waters To Catch Fish
• Despise The Free Lunch

“Trust is open, compassionate, and blind. Sometimes.” (Adult 91 years old)

I find it helpful to understand the forms of manipulation, that is if you are a people pleasing giver. To help protect yourself and understand the red flags better. However… if you find yourself over-focusing and studying manipulation too much, it can create a false form of security that begins to isolate you. Be mindful. Be kind. Be compassionate. Love thy neighbor.

How can we trust each other when we only show our happiest moments and hide the rest behind black screens? I hold mine in books and dreams. The more they build, the further we are. The further apart, the more I’m content alone. Then mercury retrograde hits, and everyone runs amok looking for what was missed.

[Reference for this form of manipulation in depth can be found in the book 48 Laws Power by Robert Greene.]